Summary: How do you conjugate words? What does the word conjugation even mean? Read on to learn these answers and more ...
Conjugation (CON - joo - GAY - shun) - (n.) verb inflection; the schematic arrangement of the inflectional forms of a verb; a set or class of verbs that have the same inflectional form.
Got it? No?? Well, allow me to explain:
Each verb (for instance, the word go) can be conjugated, or changed in form, to fit a special set of criteria that matches the sentence in which the word is being used. "I go to the store on Tuesdays." That criteria pertains not just to the sentence's tense—or when the verb's action took place (in the present equals "present tense," while in the past means the "past tense")—but also who or what is taking the action. A simple, 2-letter word like go is actually pretty complex for someone who's just learning the rules of English. There's: "I go," "you go," "we go," "they go," plus "I went yesterday" (and so forth)—however, "he goes" and "she goes" and even "I am going tomorrow" or "I have gone many times." And if you think this is confusing, try it in Latin!
This entire set of rules, complicated as they may be, are the rules of conjugation. (You may have noticed last week that I conjugated our Word of the Week, antithesis, into antithetical in Friday's post. If you did, you get a gold star for paying attention!)
By the way, there's a secondary definition of the word conjugation that is related to the word conjugal. If you can figure out the connection, you get a bonus star. (No dirty talk, please.)
Today's miniature English lesson was brought to you by the letter C and the number 4. Happy 40th birthday, Sesame Street! Thanks for helping to encourage my love of language and learning at such an early age—and for continuing to teach the kids we all know and love today.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Nov 9, 2009
Nov 6, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: Taking the First Step
Summary: A year ago, I started a 12-step journey, based on the original 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. So many 12-step groups exist today; their premise is always the same: inner growth through intense self-honesty. Taking the first step is the most important part of this and any personal journey.
This week, I dusted off some old journals and workbooks and re-read them to get some perspective on my life. What a difference a year makes! One year ago this month, I started working with a 12-step program—based on the original 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous—in order to gain a deeper sense of personal responsibility and inner peace. (These two ideas may seem antithetical, but they can coexist!)
A number of different groups have co-opted the 12 steps for a variety of different reasons—from staying sober to breaking abusive cycles in any number of areas. (See Wikipedia's list of just some of the growing number of programs available today.) My own first introduction to working the 12-step concept was through a prosperity consciousness class.
Gaining intense personal insight is the ultimate goal of any 12-step-based course or program. And the first step—with any personal journey—is always the most important, for it's with that first footfall that you make your commitment to your course. And none of us can move forward without serious honesty, both with ourselves and others.
Here is a generic version of the 12 steps:
(1) Admit I am powerless over (my problem); that my life has become unmanageable (because of my futile efforts to control the problem)
(2) Come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity (this often varies based on religious/spiritual beliefs)
(3) Make a decision to turn my will & my life over to the care of this power as I understand it
(4) Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself
(5) Admit to this power, myself, & another human being the exact nature of my wrongs
(6) Am entirely ready to have this higher power remove all these defects of my character
(7) Humbly ask this higher power to remove my shortcomings
(8) Make a list of all the people I've harmed, & become willing to make amends to them all
(9) Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so injures them or others
(10) Continue to take personal inventory, & when I am wrong, promptly admit it
(11) Seek through prayer & meditation to improve my conscious contact with the power greater than myself as I understand this power, praying only for knowledge of (my power's) will for me and the ability to carry that out
(12) Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, try to carry this message to others (who face my problem), & to practice these principles in all my affairs
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Nov 4, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Working Through Anxiety
Summary: We can be very unaware of the real level of our anxiety as it appears to others. Knowing the continuum of this energy force, what it does to the brain and body, and tricks for coping with it, quelling it or even converting it, can turn our nervous speaking experiences into exciting success stories. Read on for more!
Anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, from blushing to nervous tics to full-blown panic attacks. What these look like on the outside is often vastly different from how they feel to the person who's in their throes.
Coincidentally, what seems the most heightened to us can be completely invisible to someone we're addressing; and that which we're unaware of, ourselves, is often the most distracting to our audience. To the outsider (or to the audience), blushing may be barely noticeable, especially on a darker complected speaker. But if you've ever blushed in your life, you know it can feel like your face is on fire! Nervous tics, on the other hand, may be distracting from the speaker's message: I recently heard a speaker who unconsciously clears his throat several times per sentence, but is hardly aware that he's doing so. Meanwhile, panic attacks can go totally unnoticed by others. But panic attacks can be so severe to the person who's having one that he or she may actually visit the emergency room with the honest belief, "I'm dying!"
When anxiety occurs, our brain's cognitive functioning is severely impacted, and negatively so. The body creates a "fight-or-flight" mentality, literally wanting to run away or engage in combat. Simply standing still and pretending to be 'fine' does nothing to quench the internal need to engage or flee the conflict at hand—even if the conflict is only imaginary.
Many statistics on public speaking show that the majority of people—in cultures all over the world—are more afraid of addressing an audience than they are of water, heights, flying, spiders, snakes or even death! Speaking in public makes us quite vulnerable, not just to the judgment of others, but to our own perceptions of their criticisms and to our judgments of ourselves.
Here are some quick tips to making anxiety actually work for you when you speak:
(1) Notice your pulse and your breath. If your heart is fluttering in your chest, you're nervous. Long, slow, deep breaths (taken from both the diaphragm and the lungs to expand the belly and chest) can lower pulse and slow the heart rate. Oxygen circulates through the body and helps to automatically calm your entire system, improving cognitive function and focus. Take at least two deep breaths in a row before you return to your normal breathing, then notice your heart rate again. Repeat this technique as necessary.
(2) Pay attention to your self-talk. When we're extremely keyed up about something, we often vituperate ourselves mentally. This can create a vicious cycle of anxiety. Say something to yourself now (in your head) about public speaking. Where in your head does your inner voice resonate? What kind of tone does it have? You can modify this inherent voice by slowing it down, and/or mimicking a mother cooing to a child. Speaking to yourself in a nurturing tone makes you calmer almost immediately.
(3) Make anxiety into excitement. In situations that call for high-energy responses, such as addressing a large group, calming yourself too much can work against you. In times like these, it's important to remember that nervousness and excitement are simply different levels of the same emotion: On one end of the scale—the high end—comes excitement, even elation; on the lower, more negative end comes nervousness, followed by anxiety, panic, and paranoia. Actors use a number of voice and body exercises to stretch and warm up that are geared toward converting anxiety and negativity into the more positive energy of excitement. See this list of books and audio resources on the subject compiled by The Association of Theatre Movement Educators.
While the practice of any one of the above techniques can help eradicate anxiety, they can work even better in combination.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, from blushing to nervous tics to full-blown panic attacks. What these look like on the outside is often vastly different from how they feel to the person who's in their throes.
Coincidentally, what seems the most heightened to us can be completely invisible to someone we're addressing; and that which we're unaware of, ourselves, is often the most distracting to our audience. To the outsider (or to the audience), blushing may be barely noticeable, especially on a darker complected speaker. But if you've ever blushed in your life, you know it can feel like your face is on fire! Nervous tics, on the other hand, may be distracting from the speaker's message: I recently heard a speaker who unconsciously clears his throat several times per sentence, but is hardly aware that he's doing so. Meanwhile, panic attacks can go totally unnoticed by others. But panic attacks can be so severe to the person who's having one that he or she may actually visit the emergency room with the honest belief, "I'm dying!"
When anxiety occurs, our brain's cognitive functioning is severely impacted, and negatively so. The body creates a "fight-or-flight" mentality, literally wanting to run away or engage in combat. Simply standing still and pretending to be 'fine' does nothing to quench the internal need to engage or flee the conflict at hand—even if the conflict is only imaginary.
Many statistics on public speaking show that the majority of people—in cultures all over the world—are more afraid of addressing an audience than they are of water, heights, flying, spiders, snakes or even death! Speaking in public makes us quite vulnerable, not just to the judgment of others, but to our own perceptions of their criticisms and to our judgments of ourselves.
Here are some quick tips to making anxiety actually work for you when you speak:
(1) Notice your pulse and your breath. If your heart is fluttering in your chest, you're nervous. Long, slow, deep breaths (taken from both the diaphragm and the lungs to expand the belly and chest) can lower pulse and slow the heart rate. Oxygen circulates through the body and helps to automatically calm your entire system, improving cognitive function and focus. Take at least two deep breaths in a row before you return to your normal breathing, then notice your heart rate again. Repeat this technique as necessary.
(2) Pay attention to your self-talk. When we're extremely keyed up about something, we often vituperate ourselves mentally. This can create a vicious cycle of anxiety. Say something to yourself now (in your head) about public speaking. Where in your head does your inner voice resonate? What kind of tone does it have? You can modify this inherent voice by slowing it down, and/or mimicking a mother cooing to a child. Speaking to yourself in a nurturing tone makes you calmer almost immediately.
(3) Make anxiety into excitement. In situations that call for high-energy responses, such as addressing a large group, calming yourself too much can work against you. In times like these, it's important to remember that nervousness and excitement are simply different levels of the same emotion: On one end of the scale—the high end—comes excitement, even elation; on the lower, more negative end comes nervousness, followed by anxiety, panic, and paranoia. Actors use a number of voice and body exercises to stretch and warm up that are geared toward converting anxiety and negativity into the more positive energy of excitement. See this list of books and audio resources on the subject compiled by The Association of Theatre Movement Educators.
While the practice of any one of the above techniques can help eradicate anxiety, they can work even better in combination.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Nov 2, 2009
WORD OF THE WEEK: Antithesis
Summary: Today's word is antithesis, which comes from the Greek language and means "opposite." Keep following Beyond Talk to learn more antitheses to poor communication! E-mail me at Kealah@KiKiProductionsInc.com with your personal communications coaching requests (subject: Beyond Talk).
If someone vituperates you, your brain can choose between two basic goals: Fight or flight. If you choose "flight," you want to escape. However, if you pick "fight," your new goal (if you follow the advice in last week's posts) becomes turning the verbal attacker on his or her tail, making an ally out of an enemy.
An ally is the antithesis of an enemy. And vice versa.
More specifically, an antithesis (an - TI - tha - SIS) is an opposite, a contrast or a parallel. The word comes from the Greek antitithenai, "to set before," or oppose. It entered the English language in the early 1500s.
In this week's forthcoming posts, we'll continue to look at the antitheses (notice the plural) of verbal abuse, emotional imbalance, and inner turmoil; in other words, the antithesis of poor communication.
Are you learning what you want to learn at Beyond Talk? Share questions you may have about communication by commenting here or e-mailing me at Kealah@KiKiProductionsInc.com and placing "Beyond Talk" in the subject line.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
If someone vituperates you, your brain can choose between two basic goals: Fight or flight. If you choose "flight," you want to escape. However, if you pick "fight," your new goal (if you follow the advice in last week's posts) becomes turning the verbal attacker on his or her tail, making an ally out of an enemy.
An ally is the antithesis of an enemy. And vice versa.
More specifically, an antithesis (an - TI - tha - SIS) is an opposite, a contrast or a parallel. The word comes from the Greek antitithenai, "to set before," or oppose. It entered the English language in the early 1500s.
In this week's forthcoming posts, we'll continue to look at the antitheses (notice the plural) of verbal abuse, emotional imbalance, and inner turmoil; in other words, the antithesis of poor communication.
Are you learning what you want to learn at Beyond Talk? Share questions you may have about communication by commenting here or e-mailing me at Kealah@KiKiProductionsInc.com and placing "Beyond Talk" in the subject line.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Oct 30, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: To Journal or Not to Journal
Summary: There are lots of reasons to keep a journal, but the process can be a lot simpler than you may think. Four basics for journaling through feelings are outlined in today's post. For further info., check out old, new, and forthcoming posts by "The Journal Lady" Barbara J. Henry, my fellow blogger.
In my last post, I mentioned that journaling can be very helpful for sorting out your feelings. A lot of people are overwhelmed by the idea of starting or keeping a journal. But the fact is, to be its most helpful, journaling is used in its simplest form.
Here are the basics of journaling:
(1) Define the reason you want to keep a journal. Maybe you don’t want to actually “keep” a journal at all. Rather, you may likely want to simply get the thoughts that are bothering you out of your head. And putting them on paper is an excellent way to get them outside of yourself. In a case such as this, it’s not necessary to buy a special notebook or keep it in a sacred spot. You can grab any scratch pad that’s handy and use any writing utensil to record your thoughts at any time. And you can even throw those thoughts away once you’ve gotten them out of your system. (You may use a recording device to achieve the same results.)
(2) Use the journal as consistently as is comfortable for you and your needs. For some purposes, such as enhancing creativity, daily journaling is important. But when it comes to maintenance of feelings, daily journaling is often unnecessary. Again, simply record your thoughts when you cannot get rid of them—and can’t think clearly enough to work your way through them without this extra aid. The more you engage in this exercise, the easier it will become for you to work through your bogged-down feelings without a journal.
(3) Be specific in your journal entries. While it may be helpful to write a general sketch of what’s going on or what’s bothering you in the moment (and it often is), this doesn’t exactly help you to solve the problem. To do that, you’ll want to be as specific as possible—not only about what’s happening, but also about how you feel about it. Saying (or writing), “I feel bad,” is too vague. Give those bad feelings precise names that accurately convey your emotion: angry, hostile, over-excited, guilty, hurt, confused, disappointed, etc. If you find that you can’t put a name to it—or that you are too commonly using generic words like bad or upset to describe how you feel—it’s okay to write that you’re unsure what to call the way you’re feeling. But do take the time to think about it and practice naming what you feel very specifically. This also gets easier with practice.
(4) Don’t forget to focus on the positive. After you’ve vented, it’s important to give yourself closure on the situation at hand. One very easy way to do that is to think of what you’re grateful for, because even in negative situations, we can always find something positive. (For example, if “I’m mad at my husband for not helping with the dishes,” I can later recognize that “I’m grateful he’s been working so hard to bring in money this week and also that he appreciates my cooking for him.”)
I’ve been journaling for a variety of reasons since before I could even write in cursive. Although I’ve gotten a lot of different benefits from journal-writing, the longest staple has been an objective observation of my feelings in situations that might otherwise overwhelm me. I have employed all of the above techniques as needed with quite positive results.
For more helpful hints on this subject, check out the blog of my colleague, Barbara J. Henry, a.k.a. “The Journal Lady.” Look for guest posts from Barbara in both past and future entries to Beyond Talk.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
In my last post, I mentioned that journaling can be very helpful for sorting out your feelings. A lot of people are overwhelmed by the idea of starting or keeping a journal. But the fact is, to be its most helpful, journaling is used in its simplest form.
Here are the basics of journaling:
(1) Define the reason you want to keep a journal. Maybe you don’t want to actually “keep” a journal at all. Rather, you may likely want to simply get the thoughts that are bothering you out of your head. And putting them on paper is an excellent way to get them outside of yourself. In a case such as this, it’s not necessary to buy a special notebook or keep it in a sacred spot. You can grab any scratch pad that’s handy and use any writing utensil to record your thoughts at any time. And you can even throw those thoughts away once you’ve gotten them out of your system. (You may use a recording device to achieve the same results.)
(2) Use the journal as consistently as is comfortable for you and your needs. For some purposes, such as enhancing creativity, daily journaling is important. But when it comes to maintenance of feelings, daily journaling is often unnecessary. Again, simply record your thoughts when you cannot get rid of them—and can’t think clearly enough to work your way through them without this extra aid. The more you engage in this exercise, the easier it will become for you to work through your bogged-down feelings without a journal.
(3) Be specific in your journal entries. While it may be helpful to write a general sketch of what’s going on or what’s bothering you in the moment (and it often is), this doesn’t exactly help you to solve the problem. To do that, you’ll want to be as specific as possible—not only about what’s happening, but also about how you feel about it. Saying (or writing), “I feel bad,” is too vague. Give those bad feelings precise names that accurately convey your emotion: angry, hostile, over-excited, guilty, hurt, confused, disappointed, etc. If you find that you can’t put a name to it—or that you are too commonly using generic words like bad or upset to describe how you feel—it’s okay to write that you’re unsure what to call the way you’re feeling. But do take the time to think about it and practice naming what you feel very specifically. This also gets easier with practice.
(4) Don’t forget to focus on the positive. After you’ve vented, it’s important to give yourself closure on the situation at hand. One very easy way to do that is to think of what you’re grateful for, because even in negative situations, we can always find something positive. (For example, if “I’m mad at my husband for not helping with the dishes,” I can later recognize that “I’m grateful he’s been working so hard to bring in money this week and also that he appreciates my cooking for him.”)
I’ve been journaling for a variety of reasons since before I could even write in cursive. Although I’ve gotten a lot of different benefits from journal-writing, the longest staple has been an objective observation of my feelings in situations that might otherwise overwhelm me. I have employed all of the above techniques as needed with quite positive results.
For more helpful hints on this subject, check out the blog of my colleague, Barbara J. Henry, a.k.a. “The Journal Lady.” Look for guest posts from Barbara in both past and future entries to Beyond Talk.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
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